There are times when we can become discouraged when looking for our purpose in life. We can sometimes wonder whether God has a plan for us. And if so, why does it seem so distant and sometimes even non-existent?
I remember so clearly when I began this journey of seeking and exploring what life would be like living in the will of God and His purposed will for me. My spirit would not rest. Every day I would pray for God’s perfect will in my life. I altered my prayers and committed to searching in His Word, trying to find this unknown purpose that was holding my every waking moment hostage.
I was often dismayed by the real truth of time foolishly wasted over the years with nonsense. My guilt for this mere fact became the driving force in which I would always get stuck. I remember so vividly those restless nights of self-sabotage, hearing over and over again the words screaming loudly that I was worthless, broken beyond repair, loveless, selfish, dirty, and way too far gone even to be considered someone God could use to help build His Kingdom. I didn’t even feel like a work in progress.
The scary thing was, the more I entertained that voice and those thoughts, the more familiar the voice became as it became my voice and my thoughts of who I truly believed I was. The voice was that of the enemy. I became my own enemy.
So you see, I, too, have experienced times of frustration trying to figure out my purpose and my destiny. Within the last 17 years, while drawing closer and closer to God through His Word and what He says about me, I am learning more and more to rest in Him and to trust His Will and His timing, as it is impeccable. Only He can pull out of me what is needed for His Glory and His Kingdom. And only I have the power to choose to participate and trust in Him to fulfill His promises in my life.
Seventeen years ago when I first got clean and sober, there wasn’t anything I wanted more than to have long-term recovery. Then when I first rededicated my life to Christ, my longing was for Christian maturity. The thought of remaining a babe in Christ or becoming stagnated in my walk with God was frightening to me. I wanted to grow and chase after God with a holy fervor that would catapult me right into the arms of God in full worship, never leaving that sacred place.
Well, that didn’t happen. Lol, at least not for forever, because life shows up. And as far as my original thought of finding my purpose, the Lord did not mince words with me. This is what I heard Him say:
My child do not look for glitz, glamour, money, handouts, and fancy talking mouthpieces, but for FOOTSTEPS.
Footsteps that walked and lived a life of integrity, courage, wisdom, good character, and plenty of experiences filled with life-learning lessons.
Footsteps that have treaded where others dare not go, in the deep waters, dark alleys, and lowest valleys.
Footsteps that revealed shoes that were run over, worn down, too small, and at times, even too big.
Footsteps that were sometimes close together as a sign of humble baby steps taken, sometimes very wide apart, representing long strides as if the reach was too far, but the mark was made.
Footsteps that weren’t steps at all but drag marks showing those very long and tiresome moments of feeling drained and even pulled at times.
Footsteps of bare feet, representing new beginnings, as no one has treaded those grounds before.
Footsteps dampened by blood, sweat, tears, and even death.
Then I heard a voice from Heaven say, “Lisa, my very special child, if you’re not willing to walk in these footsteps, then don’t dare inspire to BE WHERE THEY ARE NOR HAVE WHAT THEY HAVE, for these steps are for a few elect. Choose your steps carefully and with great wisdom. For with these steps, much will be given, but MUCH WILL ALSO BE REQUIRED.”
Abba, on this beautiful day, with my eyes set on You, may I always be grateful to those that have gone before me and who have allowed me to walk in their footsteps. But more than ever before, may the footsteps I chose to walk in be Yours – the ones with purpose, great love, and intentional insight that are ordained specifically for me as I walk side by side and hand in hand with Your only begotten Son. In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen ❤️
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