Have you ever stood in front of a brand-new coffee maker, feeling overwhelmed by all the buttons, dials, and brewing techniques? You want that perfect cup, but the process feels complicated, maybe even intimidating. Discipleship can feel the same way. You know it’s important, but where do you even start? What if you mess it up?

Here’s the good news: neither coffee-making nor discipleship is about perfection. They’re about process—learning, trying, failing, and growing. I’ve been reading Emotionally Healthy Discipleship by Peter Scazzero, and he reminds me that discipleship, like crafting a great cup of coffee, happens best through experience—watching, practicing, and then teaching others.

Step One: Watch and Learn

“Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” At once they left their nets and followed him. (Matthew 4:19-20)

I learned how to make coffee from one of my best friends. He patiently walked me through the process, letting me watch, ask questions, and mess up without feeling embarrassed. Looking back, I realize that his approach wasn’t just about coffee—it was discipleship in action. Now, I find myself replicating that same teaching process with others.

When I teach someone to make coffee, I don’t start by handing them a set of instructions. Instead, I have them watch me first. They observe how I grind the beans, control the pour, and even manage mistakes. This is the first stage of discipleship—letting others see faith lived out in everyday moments.

Jesus did this with His disciples. Before sending them out to teach, He called them and had them follow Him, watching how He loved people, stepped away to pray, and handled challenges. I’ve learned that discipleship starts with presence, not just knowledge. We don’t just tell people about Jesus; we show them what walking with Him looks like.

Step Two: Try It With Guidance

“After this the Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was about to go. He told them, ‘The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few…’” (Luke 10:1-2)

One of the most important aspects of teaching someone to make coffee—or discipling someone—is creating an environment where they feel safe to ask questions and make mistakes. If someone is constantly worried about messing up, they wouldn’t learn with confidence. When I teach coffee-making, I make sure they know that mistakes are part of the process and that they can always ask me anything.

Discipleship should feel the same way. People need to know they can ask the hard questions about faith, struggle with doubts, and even make mistakes as they grow. Jesus didn’t shame His disciples when they failed—He corrected, encouraged, and invited them to move forward. We need to be the kind of discipleship leaders who cultivate trust, not fear.

After watching me make coffee a few times, they try making the coffee themselves—with me right there. I guide them through it, helping them adjust their grind size, timing their pour, and noticing subtle changes in aroma and taste. They aren’t on their own yet, but they are starting to take ownership.

I’ve noticed this same pattern in how Jesus discipled His followers. After they had watched Him for months, He sent them out in pairs, letting them step into ministry while He was still there to support them. The same applies today—walking alongside someone as they step into spiritual habits, teaching, and leadership. It’s about creating space for growth while providing support.

Step Three: Shadow and Empower

“Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit” (Matthew 28:19)

Once my trainee has brewed a few cups successfully, I switch roles. Now, I watch them. They take the lead while I stay present, offering feedback only when needed. This is where confidence grows. They begin to trust their instincts and develop their own rhythm.

I’ve seen that discipleship moves from instruction to empowerment. I’ve learned that mature discipleship isn’t about keeping people dependent on us; it’s about equipping them to lead others. Jesus eventually told His disciples, “Go and make disciples of all nations.” The goal wasn’t for them to just keep learning—it was to step out and continue the cycle of discipleship.

Brewing a Culture of Discipleship

Discipleship is about relational, experiential learning—letting people watch, guiding them as they practice, and ultimately empowering them to lead.

Just like coffee, discipleship isn’t about perfection. Mistakes will happen—burnt beans, over-extracted brews, spiritual missteps—but what matters is staying present, learning together, and growing through it all.

So, who are you inviting into your process this week? Who needs to watch, to try, and to step forward? The best way to grow as a disciple and a disciple-maker is simply to begin.