Being a single mom and homeschooling my daughters was like walking a tightrope every single day when they were young. There was no off-switch when I could just relax and take a break. I was performing a balancing act filled with schoolwork, ballet lessons, time at the stable, cooking meals, cleaning, and tutoring others’ children for money. I was always juggling something. Then there was the emotional side of things: making sure my girls felt seen and heard, trying to stay genuinely connected with them, and making sure they were spiritually fed. My daughters needed me to be there to help them through their own challenges, to comfort them when they were sad, and to encourage them when they doubted themselves. Honestly, I felt like I was going to fall into the abyss of parental failure at any moment.

There were days when the weight of trying to be everything for them – teacher, provider, protector, comforter – became too much. I looked at my daughters, and all I could think was: “I’ve done all I can. Peace out!” And in those desperate moments, I knew I needed something more than my own strength.

Jairus was a parent in the Bible who was also desperate for help. His daughter was gravely ill, and he had tried everything – doctors, remedies, prayers. Nothing worked. And when he had reached the end of his own strength, he fell at Jesus’ feet and begged, “My little daughter is dying. Please come and put your hands on her so that she will be healed and live” (Mark 5:23, NIV).

I have felt like Jairus. I’ve tried my best. I’ve poured out everything I have for my girls. I’ve made sacrifices, pushed through exhaustion, and kept going even when I felt like I couldn’t. Even today, although my girls are now beautiful young adults, they still need me. And like Jairus, I am forced to face the reality that I can’t do it all on my own. The weight of my life’s responsibilities is too much, and in my moments of surrender, I turn to Jesus, knowing He’s the only one who can do for my daughters what I cannot.

For me, the journey of surrender is difficult. I worry about what will happen if I let go of the need to control everything. I fear for my daughters’ futures. I fear for their happiness and safety. But when I allow myself to trust in Jesus, to release the burden of controlling everything, I find peace. I know that I don’t have to do it all because He is with me. He will do for my girls what I cannot.

Just as Jesus brought Jairus’ daughter back to life, I know He can restore, protect, and provide in ways I can’t. He can bring healing to my children’s hearts, comfort them in their pain, and give them the wisdom and strength they need as they navigate life as adults. My role as a mother is still important. I freely give them my love, my guidance, and my prayers, but I am not alone in this journey. Jesus walks with me, carrying the burdens I can’t.

Now, don’t get me wrong – walking with Jesus doesn’t mean that every day will be easy or that my challenges will magically disappear. There will still be difficult moments when I feel overwhelmed or unsure. But it does mean that I don’t have to carry the weight alone. “Come to me all you who are weary, and I will give you rest… For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28,30, NIV). This means I can lean on Jesus to do what I cannot, and trust that He will provide for my daughters in ways I can’t even imagine.

Like Jairus, I know that trusting Jesus will transform my life and the lives of my daughters. Jesus promised that even faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains (Matthew 17:20-21, NIV). I may not always see immediate results, but I believe that God is working behind the scenes. My faith is no longer just about trying harder or being stronger – it’s about surrendering my limitations to a limitless God. And in that surrender, I find not only strength but peace.

Stephanie will be facilitating a class on Single Parenting beginning in February. Look for the registration along with other amazing Tuesday Night Care classes starting in January.

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