In late 2023, I found myself at a breaking point. Despite being a proactive, Type A go-getter, I was burnt out. My days were filled with rewatching episodes of Grey’s Anatomy and Suits, mindlessly scrolling through social media, attending work, hitting the gym at 5 AM, participating in church services, and serving. Yet, I was merely operating on autopilot, convincing myself that I was fully engaged while actually functioning at just 15% of my capacity.
It seemed logical to think that the right sermon, a specific Bible plan on the YouVersion app, or the perfect mix of worship music on Spotify might jumpstart my return to full throttle. Honestly, I am pretty active at church. I had been attending Bridgeway since 2012 and I served with Dr. Anderson’s support team, participated in WLDI (Women’s Leadership Development Institute), and I am currently in the Minister Training Track. Often, brief spurts of energy would emerge, only to be followed by a fallback into the same rut. That’s when a realization dawned on me: I was stuck in a flawed cycle of trying “to Do to Have,” which I believed would then allow me “to Be.”
As Proverbs 15:15 (TPT) so eloquently puts it, “Everything seems to go wrong when you feel weak and depressed. But when you choose to be cheerful, every day will bring you more and
more joy and fullness.” Inspired by this verse, I made a conscious decision not just about which shoes to wear each day, but more importantly, about the attitude I would adopt. This shift towards gratitude transformed my outlook, allowing me to appreciate the mundane yet significant arsenal at my disposal for life.
This arsenal wasn’t just spiritual or abstract—it was profoundly practical and deeply personal. I had the privilege of seeing my relatives and friends in person every week and could speak to my family in Kenya daily on video via WhatsApp. I enjoyed the freedom to worship and serve in a vibrant, multicultural, and creative arts church, and I had the fellowship of like-minded individuals to enrich my life. My access to Spotify and YouTube allowed me to curate the perfect amount of uplifting podcasts and playlists, and my body was healthy enough to participate in boxing and 5 AM boot camps.
Guided by gratitude, I realized I was already embodying the truth of Psalm 16:11: “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” I recognized the fullness of joy and abundance in God’s presence with the resources I had been given.
This journey wasn’t just about combating burnout – it was about embracing a life of joy and abundance, right where I was, with what I had. The Bible warns of the enemy as the father of lies (John 8:44) and a thief who comes only to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). For too long, I negotiated my right to enjoy sonship with God, allowing foreboding joy to linger. Yet, in the same verse, Jesus affirms His purpose: “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”
What tools do you have in your arsenal that you might be overlooking? How can you actively use these tools to live a fuller life in God’s joy and presence? Do not believe the lies of the enemy.
Have you ever watched the Avengers? Do you remember when Captain America felt all alone as he battled Thanos? Imagine the anguish and demoralizing spirit that he, Thor and Iron man felt when they see Thanos’ army appear in the battle. Imagine how he felt all alone as the leader of the team. I too have felt like I am fighting a losing battle in my own strength; times when I have felt that if it is to be, it is up to me… But I thank God that He has never left me nor forsaken me, and always comes through when I need Him. Please take two minutes to watch this personalized version of that reality check and see how I am surrounded by everything I need to live life in God’s joy and presence – and so are you..
Assemble your Avengers, knowing full well that God is pleased with you and will work all things together for your good, according to His riches in heaven.
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