What you do as a parent really matters. It does! You have a greater impact on your child than anyone else – even in their teenage years. All the love you give your children and the time you spend with them really matters. The patience that you muster up when they ask the same question repeatedly. That gentle reminder for the 100th time. That painful time when your child was going through something, and you walked through it with her. Yes, even that time you instructed him that the common space in your community is not a good place to pee (boys!). It matters.
So don’t give up. Don’t let down. Press on. What you are doing is making a difference! You are shaping a young life. You are setting an example with your actions and guiding with your words.
When your child is becoming mobile, you feel like you don’t have the energy to keep up. When your child fights you over homework again. When your child’s schedule becomes busier than yours. When middle school changes the game. When the high school years continue to throw the unexpected at you, keep on keeping on!
I know you’re not perfect, because I have yet to meet a perfect parent. That’s ok. I know you want to do better. What parent doesn’t want to be a better parent? Don’t let your mistakes keep you from moving forward. Ask for forgiveness, learn, and move on. Keep going! Keep doing the best you can, leaning on God to make up for all your shortcomings. After all, He is the one that is really in control. And when it seems like no one else is watching, know that God is watching, and He is for you! He is on your side.
You have a specific role to play in your child’s life and only you can play that role. You are the father, mother, or guardian of your child. God has uniquely designed you and placed you in your uniquely designed child’s life. So be encouraged. God has created something in you and taught something to you through your life experiences that need to be passed on to your child.
Ephesians 5:16 reminds us to “make the most of every opportunity.” You play a lot of roles in life – employee, friend, son or daughter, but your role as a parent has a time limit. You only have a set amount of time to impact the life of your child while they are in your house. Don’t get so caught up in the day-to-day that you forget the big picture of Deuteronomy 6:5-7, “And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children.” A parent’s role is a selfless one. These two scriptures help me keep a perspective on my parenting when I get lost in the daily pressing needs of parenting.
A significant part of the role you have been given as a parent is to disciple your children. Show them how you “love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength” (Deuteronomy 6:5). Teach them how they can Love God too. “Make the most of every opportunity” (Ephesians 5:16).
“The most important contribution you make to the kingdom of God may not be something you do, but someone you raise.” -Andy Stanley
“I believe the pivotal moment in a man’s life is the day chasing his dreams becomes secondary to helping his children chase theirs.” -Carlos Whitaker
This was a big year in my parenting journey. I saw my oldest at age 19 travel to the Middle East to serve in a refugee camp. It was the first time he was away from home for a significant amount of time. Then just a few weeks ago, my youngest graduated from high school. I am so proud of them and realize, looking back, I would regularly get lost in the details of parenting and just life, but in the moments where I would look up to God and ahead at the big picture of his sovereignty over my kids’ life, that is when I could best lean into being the parent God wanted me to be.
I hope this is helpful to you and that you have a wonderful Father’s Day!
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