When I was 15 years old I went on my first missions trip to Mexico with Bridgeway Student Ministry. I wanted to be a part of something bigger than myself, serve God, and serve people. The thing is, a couple of months before our trip, there was a war going on inside my soul: was I going to live for God or live for people and myself? I got mixed up with the wrong crowd and was literally living out 1 Corinthians 15:34: “Do not be misled, bad company corrupts good character.” My parents almost didn’t let me go on this trip because they knew the trouble I had been mixed up in, but they ended up allowing me to go. Pastor Jared (my youth pastor at the time), Dante Sheppard (my small group leader at the time), and my fellow student teammates had no idea that I was at this fork in the road because I kept it a secret.
Several days into the trip we went to do ministry at a Drug Rehab Center. I was supposed to share my testimony that night for the first time. I remember having my inauthentic “cleaned up-church appropriate-pastor’s kid-I have no struggles” testimony ready to go. This version was a “light” and joyous testimony so I was going to go first. The Church at large loves complete, “in-the-rearview-mirror” testimonies, but I had rarely heard testimonies that were “still in progress.”
When we arrived at the Rehab Center, the Holy Spirit began a smackdown on me. I knew God wanted me to share the more raw, “in-progress” and very vulnerable version of my story. I asked Dante to put me last in our program. I needed more time to wrestle with God and convince Him to allow me to share my outdated, kind of fake testimony. But sure enough, He made it really clear that I needed to be vulnerable.
I stood up with a quivering voice and shed MANY tears as I poured out my heart to anyone who would listen. I was real with my team and those we were there to minister to about where I was at in my life. I was real about the trouble I had been getting in and the bad trajectory my life was on. I shared things that, at the time, I thought I would take to my grave. In the first 15 years of my life, this was single-handedly the most vulnerable I had ever been. Afterward, I felt exposed, drained, and poured out. But at the same time, I had experienced God’s undeniable presence and hand in my life. I felt it in a way that can only happen when you are vulnerable and exposed.
I remember thinking my team was going to grill me about my behavior. I was preparing to feel ashamed. I told Dante, “Hey, I am so sorry I have been lying to you. If you have any questions, I’ll answer anything and be completely honest with you.”
He just looked at me and said, “I don’t have any questions. I get it. I’m glad you shared everything and I love you so much.”
That night changed my entire life forever. The trajectory of my life was solidified and I knew that I was going to live for God no matter what!
Reflecting on this significant moment reminds me that vulnerability in the context of being in a safe community can bring unfathomable healing. There are many things in our lives that cannot be healed until they are revealed. What you reveal, you may heal.
Vulnerability + Safe Community = Healing and Spiritual Transformation
After I was vulnerable, my team showed me in real time how Paul was calling the Christians in Colossae to live in Colossians 33:13-15
“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.”
It is my prayer for everyone reading this that you may find a safe community and have the courage to be vulnerable with them.
I am now 28 years old, I’ve been around the world to Mexico over a dozen times, Kenya, Peru, and more to serve God and love people. I have the mind-blowing privilege to lead the ministry that changed my life, and I get to create opportunities for students to encounter God in their own unique way as I did 13 years ago at that Rehab Center and many times since then.
On March 31st I will be taking a team of students back to Mexico so we may serve people and experience God. Please pray over the lives of the 17 of us going. Pray that we may be vulnerable and experience God in unimaginable ways, coming home changed forever.
You can keep up with us on our blog: https://bsmmexicoblog.wordpress.com/
And if you would like, you can pray for us and partner with us financially.
If you need help or support, please contact Care.
If you are looking for activities where you can meet others, check out our Events.
If you are looking for people to do life with, connect with our Groups.